It's a new year and that means it's time for new debates and new laws about old topics.
I have been a part of many internet debates about various topics. I believe I have explained before that I am pretty good at seeing other people's points of view, Therefore, I am usually pretty good at playing devil's advocate. There is a topic I have a hard time doing that with; and that topic is gay marriage.
I am not a religious person, but I know a fair amount about the major world religions. I have been to a variety of Christian churches. I spent a year in Catholic school and also worked for a Catholic retreat. I have participated in bible studies and have also studied many things on my own time. I think religion is very interesting thing and it can be a wonderful thing. I personally believe faith is an amazing thing and often wish I could know how it feels to have such strong faith.
I have no major qualms with religion, I do, however, take issue with people at times. I do not understand how another human being loving someone of the same gender is detrimental to anyone. As long as the relationship is between two consenting adults, I see nothing wrong with it at all. Like faith, I believe love is an amazing and beautiful thing.
I understand that in the bible we can read about how being homosexual is wrong. I also understand that the bible was written in a different time period. I even understand that there are many passages in the bible that instruct us to do or to not do things and we do not heed those passages. Many people claim that those passages which we do not follow today were meant for the time period... times have changed. Why is it that we must pick and choose?
I understand some people believe being homosexual is a choice. I can see why this would make sense on the surface.Two people of the same gender do not "fit together", it serves no biological purpose as we are supposed to procreate and it doesn't fit many long held beliefs on what love is and should be. However, if you dig deeper below the surface, we can see it doesn't truly make sense that it would be a choice. These days, being homosexual is more accepted, but, for a very long time it wasn't. Even today there are hate groups and hateful individuals who target those the believe to be gay with violence and cruelty. Why would someone choose to live a life where others treat you as a lesser being? Why choose to be fearful of revealing who you are? Wouldn't it just be easier to choose to live the life deemed to be the "norm"?
I do not believe being gay is a choice at all, but there are many who do. These people do not want to allow two people in love to marry. They do not want them afforded the same rights as those given to a partner of the opposite sex. Why? I hear people claim is will destroy the sanctity of marriage. I hear people quote scripture. I hear people "remind" us that marriage is between one man and one woman.
Marriage is no longer a christian or even religious thing. It is a legal document stating that two people are now a family. It's a legal document giving kinship. It allows a partner to make critical decisions in dire situations. It allows ones partner to be covered under health insurance and it has some tax benefits. What does giving two people of the same gender do to you?
Divorce rates are high. Spousal abuse rates are high. Do these things not destroy the sanctity of marriage?
Let's pretend for a moment that being gay is a choice. Even then, how does two people who love one another who pay for a legal document to create kinship in the eyes of the law affect you? How does this hurt your well being or day to day life in any way?
There was a time when people of different races were not allowed to marry. We learned that was wrong. There are many inter-racial marriages now and it has not hurt any of us. Why is gay marriage so different in the eyes of some people?
I know that if someone is not "that way inclined" it is hard to grasp wanting to be in a relationship with someone of the same sex. I know the very idea seems alien. I know some people feel disgusted by it and just plain don't like it, but, really, just because you can't fathom something doesn't mean everyone else is or should be feeling the same way as you. If you don't like it, why not just turn your head?
Homosexual behavior has been noted in almost all species. To me this proves it is more natural than some would like to believe. I also believe this shows that homosexuality serves a purpose and is part of our existence whether some like it or not.
The bottom line is a human being is a human being. We should treat eachother as we would want to be treated. You will never like everyone you meet, just as not everyone you meet will like you, however dislike should not cross the line to hatred and desire to hurt another human.
Showing posts with label compassion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label compassion. Show all posts
Monday, January 7, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Drama whores
Over the past couple of days I have been experiencing the affects of internet drama whores. There is a person who I have not spoken to in 6 months due to a rather unfortunate series of events and some people decided that we were both making statuses about one another. Funny thing is, while I made a few status about the "unfortunate" events, nothing was directed at her or her family in any kind of malicious way. The things I saw from her end could definitely be construed as directed toward me, but as we have not spoken in 6 months how am I to know if she isn't having issues with another person in her life?
I decided to suck it up and send her a message about this crazy status stuff. I won't lie, I was nervous to write to her. It's not that I thought she would say anything mean or rude to me. I know better than that. I was nervous because I didn't want to run the risk of making all this silly drama worse.
Thankfully, I expressed myself correctly and the drama didn't increase and I think we squashed it. We actually had a pretty long talk via FB message and realized neither one of us had much interest in the other and we had just allowed some petty individual to get in our heads for a moment.
We came to what I like to think is a good understanding of each other and the things we write about. We also gave each other a brief update on our lives. She is very happy and doing great. Her newest child is just adorable and she is living the life she has wanted for some time. I really like to hear the good events in people's lives especially when I haven't spoken to them in awhile.
I have to say I am thankful for the people in this world who are not enamored by drama and are sensible people. I enjoy having conversations with people who understand that there is not just one truth and that sometimes the truth we see isn't truth at all and are willing to alter their perception of things.
I decided to suck it up and send her a message about this crazy status stuff. I won't lie, I was nervous to write to her. It's not that I thought she would say anything mean or rude to me. I know better than that. I was nervous because I didn't want to run the risk of making all this silly drama worse.
Thankfully, I expressed myself correctly and the drama didn't increase and I think we squashed it. We actually had a pretty long talk via FB message and realized neither one of us had much interest in the other and we had just allowed some petty individual to get in our heads for a moment.
We came to what I like to think is a good understanding of each other and the things we write about. We also gave each other a brief update on our lives. She is very happy and doing great. Her newest child is just adorable and she is living the life she has wanted for some time. I really like to hear the good events in people's lives especially when I haven't spoken to them in awhile.
I have to say I am thankful for the people in this world who are not enamored by drama and are sensible people. I enjoy having conversations with people who understand that there is not just one truth and that sometimes the truth we see isn't truth at all and are willing to alter their perception of things.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Thoughts on depression and suicide
I think by now we have all heard about the prank pulled by the two radio DJs in Australia. If you have been living under a rock, the gist is that these two DJs called the hospital where Duchess Kate was staying due to having hyperemesis gravidarum. They didn't think they would get through and lo and behold, they did.
The nurse who initially answered the call and patched them through to the floor Kate Middleton was on allegedly committed suicide just days after the prank. It has not yet been ruled a suicide, but it looks very likely that is what occurred.
I have read so many comments on this story it's insane. I have seen people say everything from, the DJs should be held accountable to people saying horrid things about the nurse committing suicide.
First, let me say, I don't believe the DJs should be held accountable for this woman's suicide. From what was said on the air prior to and after the prank call, both DJs truly thought it was just a bit of fun and didn't think they would get through so easily; both sounded very shocked they were actually put through and then even more shocked when they were given private information. Personally, I think the hospital needs to rethink how they handle calls when a high profile person is admitted there. One would think they would have had a special question or at the very least a code word for these situations.
I feel terrible for the nurse who felt it necessary to take her life. I find it absolutely abhorrent that so many people feel the need to say terrible things about her. Yes, I agree with many of these people in that it is a very small thing in the grand scheme of life and really makes little sense to end your life over. However, I would venture to guess this wasn't the only thing she took her life over. I have to assume she had other things going on, underlying depression and perhaps outside pressures. This incident would have been likely the straw that broke the camels back, so to speak. The articles state she was from India. It's also quite possible she felt immense shame for her mistake due to cultural influences. I can't be sure of course, as I am not her nor am I part of her family, though, I do know that in parts of India it's considered very bad to shame oneself or ones family. The other thing to consider here is that maybe she did not intend to kill herself and instead took one too many meds and overdoses accidentally. We may have a better idea when the autopsy comes back but we also may never really know.
I am unsure if it is because of increasing use of social media, my age or if people really have become more judgmental and cold, but I have noticed that people seem to seriously lack compassion or any degree of empathy. I understand that to those left behind, suicide appears to be a very selfish thing, however, I am not of the belief that it is always truly selfish or all that cut and dry. Yes, there are people who choose to die to avoid debts which are then transferred onto their family, others do it to hurt someone specific in their life and others still do it after committing a crime as a final "fuck you" to their victims and law enforcement. Those examples are definitely selfish in nature.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Absolutely it is... in most cases. Inside the mind of someone so severely depressed and suicidal they think it is the only solution, unfortunately. They believe the pain they are going through in this life will never end. They believe they are doing their loved ones a favor by relieving them of the burden of themselves. You can argue that it is still selfish because they are only thinking of themselves. You can argue that they should have asked for help. Unless you have been there yourself, you can't understand the warped thinking. I will repeat what I have said, they think their loved ones are better off without them. They truly view themselves as burden.
Asking for help is easier said than. As has been demonstrated in the numerous comments on the article about the nurse, people don't tend to have anything nice to say about suicide or even depression. Reaching out for help when people will just tell you to snap out of it, stop it, get a hobby, or force a smile doesn't feel like a viable option. Why would anyone reach out when they feel like no one will even try to understand and instead, will just pass down judgment?
What about seeing a professional? Well, again there is that stigma. Friends and family making jokes and heartless statements about them seeing a "shrink" and yet again telling them to just get over it. On top of that, not all of us have the insurance to cover mental health visits. Some insurances will only cover something like 6 visits in a year. Out of pocket expenses to see anyone in the mental health field are astronomical. As you can see, it's not always so easy as just going to get help. Even then, help doesn't always help.
It's amazing to me that I see mothers and fathers speaking out about the harmful effects of bullying on our children, yet they turn around and scoff at the person suffering from depression. They quickly type out nasty words against someone who has taken their own life, not thinking about the fact the family or even another family who lost someone the same way may see it.
Death is something that none of us can truly comprehend. It's the one thing we will all have to face, yet it is alien, it is scary and something most of us would like to pretend doesn't happen. The fact remains, it does happen... to everyone. The very idea of forcing our own death is even more inconceivable. Why jump ahead to that awful, awful thing? Just because you wouldn't do it and have never felt so low to even consider it, doesn't mean those who have considered it, attempted it or succeeded are deserving of your cruel judgment.
The nurse who initially answered the call and patched them through to the floor Kate Middleton was on allegedly committed suicide just days after the prank. It has not yet been ruled a suicide, but it looks very likely that is what occurred.
I have read so many comments on this story it's insane. I have seen people say everything from, the DJs should be held accountable to people saying horrid things about the nurse committing suicide.
First, let me say, I don't believe the DJs should be held accountable for this woman's suicide. From what was said on the air prior to and after the prank call, both DJs truly thought it was just a bit of fun and didn't think they would get through so easily; both sounded very shocked they were actually put through and then even more shocked when they were given private information. Personally, I think the hospital needs to rethink how they handle calls when a high profile person is admitted there. One would think they would have had a special question or at the very least a code word for these situations.
I feel terrible for the nurse who felt it necessary to take her life. I find it absolutely abhorrent that so many people feel the need to say terrible things about her. Yes, I agree with many of these people in that it is a very small thing in the grand scheme of life and really makes little sense to end your life over. However, I would venture to guess this wasn't the only thing she took her life over. I have to assume she had other things going on, underlying depression and perhaps outside pressures. This incident would have been likely the straw that broke the camels back, so to speak. The articles state she was from India. It's also quite possible she felt immense shame for her mistake due to cultural influences. I can't be sure of course, as I am not her nor am I part of her family, though, I do know that in parts of India it's considered very bad to shame oneself or ones family. The other thing to consider here is that maybe she did not intend to kill herself and instead took one too many meds and overdoses accidentally. We may have a better idea when the autopsy comes back but we also may never really know.
I am unsure if it is because of increasing use of social media, my age or if people really have become more judgmental and cold, but I have noticed that people seem to seriously lack compassion or any degree of empathy. I understand that to those left behind, suicide appears to be a very selfish thing, however, I am not of the belief that it is always truly selfish or all that cut and dry. Yes, there are people who choose to die to avoid debts which are then transferred onto their family, others do it to hurt someone specific in their life and others still do it after committing a crime as a final "fuck you" to their victims and law enforcement. Those examples are definitely selfish in nature.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Absolutely it is... in most cases. Inside the mind of someone so severely depressed and suicidal they think it is the only solution, unfortunately. They believe the pain they are going through in this life will never end. They believe they are doing their loved ones a favor by relieving them of the burden of themselves. You can argue that it is still selfish because they are only thinking of themselves. You can argue that they should have asked for help. Unless you have been there yourself, you can't understand the warped thinking. I will repeat what I have said, they think their loved ones are better off without them. They truly view themselves as burden.
Asking for help is easier said than. As has been demonstrated in the numerous comments on the article about the nurse, people don't tend to have anything nice to say about suicide or even depression. Reaching out for help when people will just tell you to snap out of it, stop it, get a hobby, or force a smile doesn't feel like a viable option. Why would anyone reach out when they feel like no one will even try to understand and instead, will just pass down judgment?
What about seeing a professional? Well, again there is that stigma. Friends and family making jokes and heartless statements about them seeing a "shrink" and yet again telling them to just get over it. On top of that, not all of us have the insurance to cover mental health visits. Some insurances will only cover something like 6 visits in a year. Out of pocket expenses to see anyone in the mental health field are astronomical. As you can see, it's not always so easy as just going to get help. Even then, help doesn't always help.
It's amazing to me that I see mothers and fathers speaking out about the harmful effects of bullying on our children, yet they turn around and scoff at the person suffering from depression. They quickly type out nasty words against someone who has taken their own life, not thinking about the fact the family or even another family who lost someone the same way may see it.
Death is something that none of us can truly comprehend. It's the one thing we will all have to face, yet it is alien, it is scary and something most of us would like to pretend doesn't happen. The fact remains, it does happen... to everyone. The very idea of forcing our own death is even more inconceivable. Why jump ahead to that awful, awful thing? Just because you wouldn't do it and have never felt so low to even consider it, doesn't mean those who have considered it, attempted it or succeeded are deserving of your cruel judgment.
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