After the horrific shooting at Sandy Hook elementary in CT, it seems every one is up in arms about gun control in this country. I want to say first and foremost that what happened at that school is beyond comprehension. Even with mental illness, very few would think to take the lives of children like that. It's something that will never be completely understood. At first it seemed that the shooter may have done it out of some bizarre jealousy regarding his mother, but as reports have shown, she wasn't even on staff at that school.
Onto gun control. I enjoy target shooting. I do not currently own any guns have not been target shooting in quite some time. I would like to eventually own a gun and start target shooting again. So, as you can see, I am not anti-gun.
I have noticed some gun advocates want everyone armed and some anti-gun groups want all guns banned. Honestly, neither one of these extreme ideas will work. Look up the shooting on that military base not long ago, or at the police station in NJ that was even more recent. In both places, there were people who had access to guns and knew how to use them. In both places, people lost their lives and not one of the people who were around the victims shot the perp. People freeze, they panic, most people respond with flight instead of fight in these situations. There is also the risk that if there are a lot of "fight" oriented people that bullets will fly recklessly. Honestly, there are not many people who are a good shot without lining up their sites.
On the opposite side, banning all guns won't stop guns from being used. We already have an incredible number of guns coming into this country illegal, imagine what would happen with a full ban? This would cause far more problems than we already have. It would be a disaster.
Between both groups, I have also noticed a misconception that gun control means banning guns. That is not what it means. No one is going to come in and take your rifle, shotgun or handgun. Gun control means better background checks, and restrictions on who can own a gun. It also means working out a plan to have better control on the weapons that come into this country. It also carries the possibility of a type of ban over assault weapons.
I agree with better background checks, psych checks and drug tests to buy a gun. I also agree with developing a plan to have better control over the weapons that come into this country. To an extent, I even agree with a type of ban on assault weapons. One does not use an AK for target practice or hunting, these weapons are designed to kill. There should only be select people who are allowed to own one.
The biggest thing this country needs to do is to look into why we have more murders and specifically more mass murders of these type compared to other first would countries. Why are we flying off the handle, why are we killing eachother? Is there a higher incidence of mental illness here? If so, why? Is it something to do with our culture? What is going on?
If anyone happens to read my blog, please feel to leave your thoughts. I only ask that you are respectful and refrain from name calling. This is topic many people have strong opinions on. If someone can back up their opinion in a respectful manner, you can respond in the same respectful way.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
The possible answer to my anxiety and maybe more
I think I will be making quite few posts today. I had another topic I wanted to address, but some research into possible causes of my anxiety has my brain on over drive about it and I just have to get it out.
I don't have a thyroid gland. It was removed in October of 2007. I had been having thyroid symptoms for years prior. When I think about it, my thyroid issues probably date back to the end of high school and only came to a head somewhere between my hip surgery and the birth of my first child.
At the end of high school I gained weight rather rapidly with no real reason. I was sluggish and depressed. Oddly, after my first hip surgery I lost weight pretty quick without any dieting. I have read surgery can cause an increase in thyroid hormone particular when it is a surgery done on bone.
After the birth of my first 2 children I lost weight very quick. I was thinner after my second child than I was when I was 19. I had chalked it up to breastfeeding, but it turned out I had hyperthyroidism. My thyroid was also growing larger. It was ultimately removed because a biopsy showed possible follicular cancer. They were originally only going to remove half but when they got in there they saw both sides were diseased.
Lately, I have been gaining weight. I hadn't gained any weight since the thyroidectomy aside from getting pregnant with my third child. I maintained a decent weight after her birth until mid 2012. It has really jumped in the past few months.
I have been lax on taking my thyroid replacement pills. I found out today low thyroid hormone can cause extreme anxiety, brain fog and many other things. I think I have found whats going on and I need to get back on track.
I also found out that low thyroid hormone, oddly enough, can cause gastrointestinal bleeding. There is a reason this struck me. My brother's cause of death was GI hemorrhage. It was shocking to every one of us. He didn't seem to have any major symptoms of a major GI issue. He had been gaining weight... see where I am going here?
The major things he complained about in the months prior to his death were constipation, an increase in anxiety and agitation, being more tired than ever before,memory issues and his hair falling out. We all kind of attributed it to just being him. He was always a bit of a hypochondriac. Plus closer to the end he had some legal troubles and stress can cause all of those symptoms.
The biggest thing for me is he had been talking about how he seemed to feel his thyroid when he swallowed, ear pain and saying it felt like his thyroid felt bigger when he touched the area, I actually felt his thyroid myself a few years ago and it did appear bigger than it should, but, I am also not a doctor. There is also some evidence that thyroid issues run in our family.
I also found out that upon autopsy, a large percentage of people do not have a normal thyroid. The incidence of abnormal thyroid findings increase with age, but it never reaches 50% for those with a normal one. The incidence of thyroid problems has also increase 3 times since the 1970's.
I read a case study detailing GI bleeding in 24 year old patient. This patient had been having recurring GI bleeding. Generally, when one experiences a GI bleed it will happen again. This patient presented with memory issues, constipation, chronic fatigue, increased anxiety and weight gain. They found out the patient had hypothyroidism and treated them with thyroid hormone meds. The patient, at the time of the study being published, had been without any bleeding for three years. Upon further investigation, they have found a larger percentage of people with GI bleeds also have hypothyroidism.
I have been curious to read my brothers full autopsy report, and now I really want to read it. If his thyroid was larger than normal it could indicate hypothyroidism. We only got the short autopsy report and tox report after we found out cause of death. The short report only told us where the bleed was and it was huge bleed. I am definitely wondering if there was anything wrong with his thyroid. Ultimately, I want to know just what the heck caused such a huge bleed so suddenly in someone who was only 26 years old.
I don't have a thyroid gland. It was removed in October of 2007. I had been having thyroid symptoms for years prior. When I think about it, my thyroid issues probably date back to the end of high school and only came to a head somewhere between my hip surgery and the birth of my first child.
At the end of high school I gained weight rather rapidly with no real reason. I was sluggish and depressed. Oddly, after my first hip surgery I lost weight pretty quick without any dieting. I have read surgery can cause an increase in thyroid hormone particular when it is a surgery done on bone.
After the birth of my first 2 children I lost weight very quick. I was thinner after my second child than I was when I was 19. I had chalked it up to breastfeeding, but it turned out I had hyperthyroidism. My thyroid was also growing larger. It was ultimately removed because a biopsy showed possible follicular cancer. They were originally only going to remove half but when they got in there they saw both sides were diseased.
Lately, I have been gaining weight. I hadn't gained any weight since the thyroidectomy aside from getting pregnant with my third child. I maintained a decent weight after her birth until mid 2012. It has really jumped in the past few months.
I have been lax on taking my thyroid replacement pills. I found out today low thyroid hormone can cause extreme anxiety, brain fog and many other things. I think I have found whats going on and I need to get back on track.
I also found out that low thyroid hormone, oddly enough, can cause gastrointestinal bleeding. There is a reason this struck me. My brother's cause of death was GI hemorrhage. It was shocking to every one of us. He didn't seem to have any major symptoms of a major GI issue. He had been gaining weight... see where I am going here?
The major things he complained about in the months prior to his death were constipation, an increase in anxiety and agitation, being more tired than ever before,memory issues and his hair falling out. We all kind of attributed it to just being him. He was always a bit of a hypochondriac. Plus closer to the end he had some legal troubles and stress can cause all of those symptoms.
The biggest thing for me is he had been talking about how he seemed to feel his thyroid when he swallowed, ear pain and saying it felt like his thyroid felt bigger when he touched the area, I actually felt his thyroid myself a few years ago and it did appear bigger than it should, but, I am also not a doctor. There is also some evidence that thyroid issues run in our family.
I also found out that upon autopsy, a large percentage of people do not have a normal thyroid. The incidence of abnormal thyroid findings increase with age, but it never reaches 50% for those with a normal one. The incidence of thyroid problems has also increase 3 times since the 1970's.
I read a case study detailing GI bleeding in 24 year old patient. This patient had been having recurring GI bleeding. Generally, when one experiences a GI bleed it will happen again. This patient presented with memory issues, constipation, chronic fatigue, increased anxiety and weight gain. They found out the patient had hypothyroidism and treated them with thyroid hormone meds. The patient, at the time of the study being published, had been without any bleeding for three years. Upon further investigation, they have found a larger percentage of people with GI bleeds also have hypothyroidism.
I have been curious to read my brothers full autopsy report, and now I really want to read it. If his thyroid was larger than normal it could indicate hypothyroidism. We only got the short autopsy report and tox report after we found out cause of death. The short report only told us where the bleed was and it was huge bleed. I am definitely wondering if there was anything wrong with his thyroid. Ultimately, I want to know just what the heck caused such a huge bleed so suddenly in someone who was only 26 years old.
#5
I am grateful for the internet. Yup, that is correct, the internet.
I love to learn. I always have and the internet has helped me learn a lot. It has aided me in learning about other people. An internet chatroom is a great place to watch human behavior. It really gives some insight into the human mind and psychosocial behavior. In some cases, it can be a bit depressing but if one views it from a purely scientific standpoint it's very informative.
Also... if you know where to look you can get information about everything you'd ever want to know. Of course, the internet is also full of misinformation so you need to be able to distinguish between reliable sources and...well... crap sources. I spend a lot of time looking up things I wonder about or need to know. For instance, I just needed to quickly stop typing here and look up the average weight of pugs. That is something I wouldn't know off the top of my head (but will now).
The internet is an amazing thing.
I love to learn. I always have and the internet has helped me learn a lot. It has aided me in learning about other people. An internet chatroom is a great place to watch human behavior. It really gives some insight into the human mind and psychosocial behavior. In some cases, it can be a bit depressing but if one views it from a purely scientific standpoint it's very informative.
Also... if you know where to look you can get information about everything you'd ever want to know. Of course, the internet is also full of misinformation so you need to be able to distinguish between reliable sources and...well... crap sources. I spend a lot of time looking up things I wonder about or need to know. For instance, I just needed to quickly stop typing here and look up the average weight of pugs. That is something I wouldn't know off the top of my head (but will now).
The internet is an amazing thing.
Anxiety
Have you ever had overwhelming anxiety and can't figure out the exact reason?
That is what I am experiencing at the moment and experienced all day yesterday. I have had trouble sleeping for two nights now. I have always had a degree of insomnia, but this trouble is different.
I am overly tired during the day and feel like I am in fog. My brain is fuzzy. The worst part is I can not shake this feeling that something isn't right or that something bad is going to happen. This feeling was heightened yesterday when I took my youngest to the doctor (how thing is outlined in the previous post if you are curious). I kept thinking she was going to have to go in for emergency surgery for appendicitis, even though I knew logically the chances were low that it would turn out she had appendicitis. After it was ruled out, my anxiety level dropped some but it hasn't gone away. It's back at the same level it was prior to seeing her pediatrician.
I know lots of people have anxiety disorders. My brother had pretty crippling anxiety. I have always had social anxiety and prefer to be alone much of the time. I, of course, have experienced anxiety in stressful, frightening times, as we all have. I have just never had anxiety this bad. I can feel it in my chest constantly. I almost feel like I have to move all the time. I am not sure if my brain fuzz and fog are symptoms of anxiety too or if I have a bit of a virus but, I will tell you, the fuzz and fog sure are not helping matters.
I'm also feeling very snappy and angry. I am getting mad at little things. I am trying my best to keep my cool and not fly off the handle. The result is I just want to be alone and not go anywhere or do anything. I need to chill out. I just can not figure out how!
I am going to try taking a nap with the kids and maybe doing an exercise dvd later today. I am hoping that will help me get rid of this anxiety.
That is what I am experiencing at the moment and experienced all day yesterday. I have had trouble sleeping for two nights now. I have always had a degree of insomnia, but this trouble is different.
I am overly tired during the day and feel like I am in fog. My brain is fuzzy. The worst part is I can not shake this feeling that something isn't right or that something bad is going to happen. This feeling was heightened yesterday when I took my youngest to the doctor (how thing is outlined in the previous post if you are curious). I kept thinking she was going to have to go in for emergency surgery for appendicitis, even though I knew logically the chances were low that it would turn out she had appendicitis. After it was ruled out, my anxiety level dropped some but it hasn't gone away. It's back at the same level it was prior to seeing her pediatrician.
I know lots of people have anxiety disorders. My brother had pretty crippling anxiety. I have always had social anxiety and prefer to be alone much of the time. I, of course, have experienced anxiety in stressful, frightening times, as we all have. I have just never had anxiety this bad. I can feel it in my chest constantly. I almost feel like I have to move all the time. I am not sure if my brain fuzz and fog are symptoms of anxiety too or if I have a bit of a virus but, I will tell you, the fuzz and fog sure are not helping matters.
I'm also feeling very snappy and angry. I am getting mad at little things. I am trying my best to keep my cool and not fly off the handle. The result is I just want to be alone and not go anywhere or do anything. I need to chill out. I just can not figure out how!
I am going to try taking a nap with the kids and maybe doing an exercise dvd later today. I am hoping that will help me get rid of this anxiety.
#4
I didn't get to write my daily "grateful post" yesterday as I spent my afternoon at my daughters doctors office and at children's hospital. I got home and didn't really want to think for the rest of the night. However, the events of the day have reminded me of something I am grateful for.
I have a post already about how I am grateful for my children, but today I am more specifically grateful that they are here and healthy. Yes, my son has ADHD, my daughter has suspected aspergers and my other daughter has a speech delay and all of these things can be trying at times, but I know it is nowhere near what some parents have to face. I am also grateful for my kids' amazing pediatrician.
I brought Maggie to see her doctor yesterday because all three kids had come down with influenza on Christmas. It came on hard and fast with high fevers, coughs and tears. My older two got over it in the usual time frame. Maggie took a bit longer and seemed to be on the up and up when suddenly her fever returned. She became far more miserable, sleepy and just wasn't acting like herself. She was saying her tongue and cheek hurt and knowing that kids will often say those things hurt when it's really their throat, I thought she may have strep.
We got to the doctor and he said her throat didn't look bad and her ears didn't look bad. He noticed her tummy hurt on the lower right and as he has had many more cases of appendicitis lately he wanted to rule that out. He told me kids don't always present with appendicitis in the classic ways adults do. Of course, the prospect of appendicitis was frightening to me.
I got to battle trying to get her to pee in a cup (and subsequently got peed on) to rule out UTI. When her urine came back ok we got to go over to Children's Hospital for a chest xray and ultrasound. Thankfully, her appendix is not inflamed and she doesn't have a hidden pneumonia. The need note some enlarged lymph nodes in her abdomen so they ordered some blood work. I am currently waiting to hear back about that. For now she is on some antibiotics.
I am so thankful we found an awesome pediatrician out here who is thorough. He wanted to be sure nothing was missed since she has had the fever for so long and there was no obvious reason why. He has always listened to me and often asks what my gut feelings are. I couldn't ask for a better doctor for my kids and am glad they are all pretty healthy.
I have a post already about how I am grateful for my children, but today I am more specifically grateful that they are here and healthy. Yes, my son has ADHD, my daughter has suspected aspergers and my other daughter has a speech delay and all of these things can be trying at times, but I know it is nowhere near what some parents have to face. I am also grateful for my kids' amazing pediatrician.
I brought Maggie to see her doctor yesterday because all three kids had come down with influenza on Christmas. It came on hard and fast with high fevers, coughs and tears. My older two got over it in the usual time frame. Maggie took a bit longer and seemed to be on the up and up when suddenly her fever returned. She became far more miserable, sleepy and just wasn't acting like herself. She was saying her tongue and cheek hurt and knowing that kids will often say those things hurt when it's really their throat, I thought she may have strep.
We got to the doctor and he said her throat didn't look bad and her ears didn't look bad. He noticed her tummy hurt on the lower right and as he has had many more cases of appendicitis lately he wanted to rule that out. He told me kids don't always present with appendicitis in the classic ways adults do. Of course, the prospect of appendicitis was frightening to me.
I got to battle trying to get her to pee in a cup (and subsequently got peed on) to rule out UTI. When her urine came back ok we got to go over to Children's Hospital for a chest xray and ultrasound. Thankfully, her appendix is not inflamed and she doesn't have a hidden pneumonia. The need note some enlarged lymph nodes in her abdomen so they ordered some blood work. I am currently waiting to hear back about that. For now she is on some antibiotics.
I am so thankful we found an awesome pediatrician out here who is thorough. He wanted to be sure nothing was missed since she has had the fever for so long and there was no obvious reason why. He has always listened to me and often asks what my gut feelings are. I couldn't ask for a better doctor for my kids and am glad they are all pretty healthy.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Drama whores
Over the past couple of days I have been experiencing the affects of internet drama whores. There is a person who I have not spoken to in 6 months due to a rather unfortunate series of events and some people decided that we were both making statuses about one another. Funny thing is, while I made a few status about the "unfortunate" events, nothing was directed at her or her family in any kind of malicious way. The things I saw from her end could definitely be construed as directed toward me, but as we have not spoken in 6 months how am I to know if she isn't having issues with another person in her life?
I decided to suck it up and send her a message about this crazy status stuff. I won't lie, I was nervous to write to her. It's not that I thought she would say anything mean or rude to me. I know better than that. I was nervous because I didn't want to run the risk of making all this silly drama worse.
Thankfully, I expressed myself correctly and the drama didn't increase and I think we squashed it. We actually had a pretty long talk via FB message and realized neither one of us had much interest in the other and we had just allowed some petty individual to get in our heads for a moment.
We came to what I like to think is a good understanding of each other and the things we write about. We also gave each other a brief update on our lives. She is very happy and doing great. Her newest child is just adorable and she is living the life she has wanted for some time. I really like to hear the good events in people's lives especially when I haven't spoken to them in awhile.
I have to say I am thankful for the people in this world who are not enamored by drama and are sensible people. I enjoy having conversations with people who understand that there is not just one truth and that sometimes the truth we see isn't truth at all and are willing to alter their perception of things.
I decided to suck it up and send her a message about this crazy status stuff. I won't lie, I was nervous to write to her. It's not that I thought she would say anything mean or rude to me. I know better than that. I was nervous because I didn't want to run the risk of making all this silly drama worse.
Thankfully, I expressed myself correctly and the drama didn't increase and I think we squashed it. We actually had a pretty long talk via FB message and realized neither one of us had much interest in the other and we had just allowed some petty individual to get in our heads for a moment.
We came to what I like to think is a good understanding of each other and the things we write about. We also gave each other a brief update on our lives. She is very happy and doing great. Her newest child is just adorable and she is living the life she has wanted for some time. I really like to hear the good events in people's lives especially when I haven't spoken to them in awhile.
I have to say I am thankful for the people in this world who are not enamored by drama and are sensible people. I enjoy having conversations with people who understand that there is not just one truth and that sometimes the truth we see isn't truth at all and are willing to alter their perception of things.
# 3
I am grateful I am able to meet all of my kids needs and provide them with some wants.
The past year has not been all rainbows and sunshine in the financial department, either. In fact, it hasn't been that was for the past 4 years. Shortly after we bought our house in 2008, my husband embarked on the first of a series of lay offs. Each lay off would last longer than the previous it seemed.
My husband is an electrician and joined the union out here in Nebraska. Due to the economy, there wasn't much in the way of new construction work being done so many electricians have suffered the same fate. Due, to all the time spent on unemployment we have not been able to pay certain bills and we owe $8,000 to the bank in order to get the loan on our mortgage current. As one may rightly assume, this is a very stressful thing.
However, as luck would have it and has had it, each year he manages to get a job right before the holidays. So far, we have been able to afford a decent Christmas for the kids every year and they always have everything they need. I am eternally grateful for that.
My husband is working for a large company now that appears to have several bids on large jobs. It seems he may escape being laid off once this job is complete and will be able to move to another job site for the same company rather than go on the books and wait for something else to come up. I have been in contact with the bank and will hopefully be able to work out something feasible with them so we can avoid going through with a foreclosure. Even if foreclosure occurs, I have found several large apartments for a great price in this immediate are so the kids can stay at the same school. I would just have to find someone willing to co-sign,as my credit is in the toilet.
I don't exactly understand how we keep managing ti avoid total disaster, and perhaps we won't entirely avoid it this time around but there are options. I just know I am truly grateful I can give my kids a decent existence.
The past year has not been all rainbows and sunshine in the financial department, either. In fact, it hasn't been that was for the past 4 years. Shortly after we bought our house in 2008, my husband embarked on the first of a series of lay offs. Each lay off would last longer than the previous it seemed.
My husband is an electrician and joined the union out here in Nebraska. Due to the economy, there wasn't much in the way of new construction work being done so many electricians have suffered the same fate. Due, to all the time spent on unemployment we have not been able to pay certain bills and we owe $8,000 to the bank in order to get the loan on our mortgage current. As one may rightly assume, this is a very stressful thing.
However, as luck would have it and has had it, each year he manages to get a job right before the holidays. So far, we have been able to afford a decent Christmas for the kids every year and they always have everything they need. I am eternally grateful for that.
My husband is working for a large company now that appears to have several bids on large jobs. It seems he may escape being laid off once this job is complete and will be able to move to another job site for the same company rather than go on the books and wait for something else to come up. I have been in contact with the bank and will hopefully be able to work out something feasible with them so we can avoid going through with a foreclosure. Even if foreclosure occurs, I have found several large apartments for a great price in this immediate are so the kids can stay at the same school. I would just have to find someone willing to co-sign,as my credit is in the toilet.
I don't exactly understand how we keep managing ti avoid total disaster, and perhaps we won't entirely avoid it this time around but there are options. I just know I am truly grateful I can give my kids a decent existence.
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